


Fics I'll never finish: Nº 1

by Azuro1122



Series: Fics I'll never finish [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29756115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuro1122/pseuds/Azuro1122
Summary: This is part of a series of stories I'm 97% sure I'll never write more for.Some are rough drafts, some are actual wips, a couple are just vague ideas of the plot and world of the story.Maybe someday I'll pick them up again but for now this is all anyone's getting...
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Kenny McCormick
Series: Fics I'll never finish [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186961
Kudos: 2





	Fics I'll never finish: Nº 1

“This one?” 

Eric turned around from his frantic rummaging over a drawer to peer at the tie his partner was holding “Does that look like garnet to you?” The heavy brunet looked with disdain at the tie and huffed going back to the drawer “I told you the garnet one I wore to Clyde’s wedding. The one with tiny diamond patterns… Aha!” He cheered when the aforementioned tie finally appeared.

“Let me help you with the knot” Kenny moved closer again but Eric swatted his hands off his neck.

“Your redneck ass has no idea how to make the proper knot for this tie” Eric growled moving to the full body mirror at the corner of the room.

“But I do know how to properly knot you…” Kenny approached from behind wearing a salacious smirk and putting his hands over Eric’s love handles.

“Cut it out Kenny…” Eric warned looking at the blond through the mirror.

“Why are you so cranky anyways? I thought that you would have loosened up with what we did earlier” Kenny kneaded softly at the blubbery rolls “You surely felt kinda loose by the end of it…”

“That’s exactly why!” Eric tried to push Kenny back with his body only to end up pressing his huge ass against the other’s crotch “Because you couldn’t keep your stupid dick in your pants for an entire hour!”

“Awww but I’m the victim here” Kenny moved further into meeting Eric’s behind “How could I resist myself when seeing you coming all flushed and steamy hot from the shower? It’s your fault for going around the house naked all the time” The lanky blond moved his hands forward, caressing the underside of Eric’s massive belly and trying to go lower.

“Stop it Kinny!” Eric whined and had to let go of his tie to prevent Kenny’s hand from reaching his crotch “I’m seriously telling you to stop molesting me and let me get fucking dressed or I’ll cut your dick and pickle it to feed Stan’s dog” 

Kenny chuckled planting a slobbery kiss onto Eric’s neck. The fat man’s threat might have been scary, especially coming from someone he knew could actually do such a thing, but Eric’s voice was unravelling with lust once more like when just an hour ago they had some fairly quick but super heated sex that prompted Eric to take yet another shower because he didn’t want to show up at his mother’s house ‘Reeking of white trash guetto dick’ as he graciously put it.

Nonetheless, Kenny backed away and let Eric have some respite while he sat on the bed and watched the mammoth of a man that was his lover get into a very fancy suit that already made Kenny want to repeat the earlier sex but this time with Eric dressed like that.

Finally they managed to be ready enough to please Eric and both of them marched out of the house. Eric was still a bit cranky and Kenny almost didn’t let him drive though he knew that such a thing would only end up in an argument and he didn’t want to torment the fatty anymore than was healthily funny for him. 

When they arrived at Eric’s childhood home, the chubby brunet huffed through gritted teeth at the sight of a brown sedan parked at the driveway. Kenny noticed it and softly squeezed Eric’s knee “Hey, I know that being late is not the only reason why you’re on edge. But it can’t be that bad right?”

Eric looked at the blond, opening his mouth to retort but was interrupted by the front door of the house opening and a man stepping out to greet them “Hey boys, you finally made it! I was about to call you because Liane has been nagging at me for the last half hour thinking that you had an accident on your way here or something” 

The bushy full beard, the long curls falling down the temples, the ungainly way in which he moved and finally the yarmulke topping the balding head made Eric almost feel nauseous at the sight of his mother’s freshly new husband: Gerald Broflovski.

The two men left the car. Kenny returning the greeting with a waive, Eric having to usher strength from untold places just to not punch Gerald’s face in “Hey Mr. Broflovski! Or is it Mr. Cartman now?” Kenny smiled, always cordial and polite when it came to his childhood friends parents.

“Just Gerald for you boys” The older man laughed and shook Kenny’s hand “Liane and I are too old for all that nonsense” He extended his hand to Eric as well who only touched it for the briefest of moments as if it was a red hot iron. Gerald didn’t seem to be bothered by that and turned around still smiling “Come inside! There’s some nice imported scotch waiting for you” He shot a quick glance at Eric and smirked “Or light beer if you don’t feel like breaking anything tonight” 

Eric was fuming as Gerald went ahead “Does he have mention that every damned time we meet?” He turned to his lover pointing at the door with an indignant gesture “See? This is why I never want to do this shit!”

“I mean, you did get completely ass drunk and trashed half of the reception at their wedding…” Kenny replied trying to control his amusement.

“As if he cared about that” Eric huffed furious “I know why he does all this Kenny. But just because I fucked his wife it didn’t give him the right to screw my mother!”

“Eric, honey… Not everyone works solely on a wrongdoing-retribution basis” Kenny said snaking an arm around the brunet’s broad shoulders trying to calm him down.

“Ugh… Look at you, talking like a fucking british buttler” Eric said mockingly though his anger seemed to be simmering down “Fucking shrink school…”

Kenny chuckled and planted a kiss onto Eric’s cheek “Relax babe. And don’t feel bad about this. I’m sure your mother and Gerald were fucking way before they even considered getting married” The skinny blond smirked pressing his cheek against the chubby one of his couple “I bet they even did it while Liane was pregnant with you… Can you imagine? Gerald’s circumcised prick just an inch away from your unborn face…”

Eric pushed Kenny away almost making the other to fly over the plant bed at the side of the entrance “Fucking gross Kenny! Oh god that’s such a horrible image…” He went a bit pale and effectively gagged a bit this time actually feeling nauseous “I swear Kenny that if you make me puke all over my new suit I’ll prepare my special chilly with your disgusting remains after my babies turn you into minced meat”

Kenny just stopped laughing when they finally got inside and Liane almost suffocated him in a tight hug “Kenny! It’s been so long since you came down here” As swiftly as she had trapped Kenny Liane let him go and proceeded to smother her beloved son “Awww poopsie… You look so adorable… Isn’t he the handsomest boy ever?” She asked barely towards Kenny and everyone there obviously knew she didn’t need any answer from them.

“Mom, I’m 32” The rotund man groaned though the half smile that had appeared on its own over his lips betrayed how he really felt “You’re being embarrassing again…”

“Don’t be silly. You wouldn’t be embarrassed of your own mother would you?” Liane pressed a kiss on each of his son’s cheeks.

“Huh yeah?” Eric rolled his eyes but didn’t push his mother away.

Liane just dismissed her son’s words with a light giggle and patted on his side “Would you be a dear and help Gerald with the drinks? There’s still some time before dinner’s ready and it wouldn’t be a bad thing if we have some fun catching up while we wait”

The fat brunet’s nostrils flared at the mention of his mother’s husband but didn’t put too much resistance. Kenny supposed it was because Eric wanted to get away from his mother’s overly saccharine displays of affection.

“Kenny, come here” Liane ushered the blond and locked her arm around his “I wouldn’t want to bother you with work stuff so early but I wanted to know if you could maybe help me a little bit. You see, the pills I’m taking seem to have lost some of their effectiveness and I was wondering if I should just up the dose or get some new ones altogether…”

“Well Liane, I’m a psychologist not a psychiatrist so I don’t really dabble into pills and meds in that way” Kenny replied with a light smile and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit proud of how people came to him, valuing him because of the hard work he had done to get his degree “But as far as I know you’re taking antidepressants right?” The woman nodded and Kenny continued “Then it might be true that you’re developing some resistance to them or it also could mean that you need to work more on the rest of your therapy. Remember that the pills are just part of a whole when it comes to mental health. But the best would be for you to consult this with the doctor who prescribed them to you”

“Well, I know that. But Dr. Bentress is away on vacations and I won’t have my next appointment with her until two week from now and you know me, always going for the shortcuts” She chuckled and looked towards where Eric and Gerald were supervising the liquor cabinet “Is Eric taking his pills regularly? I know he can be difficult with medical stuff…”

“Don’t worry, we’re all making sure he takes his meds properly and that he gets usual checkups” Kenny nodded.

“Epilepsy is such a scary thing… I still shiver when I think of the first attack he had” Liane’s voice turned a bit somber and even frightful “The doctors still have no clue to what caused it?”

Kenny sighed, feeling the dread getting stuck to him like every time anyone brought up that subject “They say that it’s probably all the punishment his head got over our childhood years. Probably enhanced by that accident when we were 16… Though I think it’s because of the probe he still has up his…” Kenny stopped himself at the puzzled look Liane shot him and he just shook his head “It’s hard to tell really. But he’s been doing good. It’s been a year already since the last scare”

“I wish I could do more for him” Liane sighed, tightening her grasp on Kenny’s arm “Sometimes I think marrying Gerald was maybe too much. I’m not stupid you know? I can see that Eric doesn’t approve of that”

“Eric did a lot of really reprochable things back in the day so he’s not one to judge you over something like this” Kenny replied and half smiled “Besides, no matter how much he wants to hide it, it’s clear that he wants you to be happy and if Gerald makes you happy then I’m sure he’ll be okay with it eventually. Or he’ll just have to grow up and deal with it”

“I know you were talking about me” Eric said with an almost reprimanding tone when he joined the others carrying two glasses of scotch, one that he handled Kenny and the other to his mother “You have that glint on those little ratty eyes of yours…” The brunet squinted at Kenny who held his stare unflinching until Eric just shrugged “Whatever. People talking behind my back never hurt me before and never will”

Kenny rolled his eyes at his lover’s petulant words and let go of Liane to lock his arm with Eric’s instead “Anyways… I hope that you’re not even thinking about having too much of this right?” He shook the glass of scotch in front of Eric.

“I’m not an idiot Kenny. I know I’m not supposed to drink more than one glass tonight” Eric rolled his eyes clearly way too bothered about the fact that he couldn’t get drunk enough to make the evening more tolerable “But if I can’t drink at least I’ll eat enough to make up for that” Kenny scoffed at that and dragged Eric with him to the sofa.

_The idea was that Eric and the others are in their early 30's. Kenny and Eric live together, Stan and Kyle are roomates but all four of them are in a kind of poly relationship without rigid boundaries or roles, they all love each other but don't live it as a romantic relationship._

_Kyle works as an insurance lawyer, Stan is a veterinary and Eric dabbled into the engineering business for a little while before ditching it to become a professional wrestling robots maker and pilot, which made him famous and quite wealthy. Kenny as it's mentioned here, is a psychologist._

_About Eric's illness, he developed it over his college years. Having his first attack while on a weekend at his dorm room which almost killed him because he was found just out sheer dumb luck by the guy living next door to him, since at the time Eric had been alone for some years already. His friendship with the other three had dwindled during highschool after the mentioned accident and pretty much ended when they graduated. With Eric in a three weeks coma after his attack, the others gathered again and once Eric finally woke up, they all saw how much they still cared for each other and started to hang out again, which with time made them develop deeper feelings._

_The Gerald and Liane thing is kind of like what Eric described. During his highschool years, Eric (who by that time was more than sure about his preference for guys) started to experiment a bit more with girls and finding an app that let him match with someone based solely on their shared kinks and sexual preferences, he landed on a date with none other than Sheila Broflovski. It was awkward and strange at first but once in bed they had a great time together and decided to repeat it. Which led to them being discovered by Gerald. Sheila and Gerald had been fighting for a long time already and that episode made them finally file for the divorce. Sheila left South Park and returned to New Jersey but Gerald planned to stay behind at least until Ike would have gone to college. Though during that time, he tried to get his revenge on Ericand finally got his chance when he started courting Liane. They hit it off pretty quickly and just after a couple years they were living together much to Eric's chagrin, though they didn't marry until well after. If Gerald actually fell in love with Liane or he's just still acting out of vengance is not clear yet._

SP Characters and names are not mine and belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker


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